Uninspired

I haven't written in a long time, and I don't write much longer at all. I really wish that I could. I really wish I was in a place of inspiration and creativity. But maybe I am just experiencing some of the solstice energy, perhaps in a new way. For the first time I am experiencing winter in Arizona. The weather is nice. I enjoy the sunshine everyday. Even though I am working a job five days a week, I still manage to find time to sit in the sun each day, even if just for a few minutes. But the reality is that my job occupies much of my time, mental and emotional space. There is some dissatisfaction, though I'm compelled to continue in a kind of trade-off. I'm trading off my time, and my personal freedom for the necessity of an income to pay for basic needs. It's a real conumdrum.

So there is where it lies at the moment. Creativity and freedom have to take a back seat. But I continue to dream. I dream that better opportunities befall me. I have to believe opportunity will appear. It will happen with ease, like a kind of gift. I'm not sure what these opportunitise will be, or what they will look like, but I have to believe that they will come true. During this time of the solstice energy, the winter darkness, there is a kind of purging. Before the solstice the winter energy intensifies as there is rapidly increasing darkness each day. Once the solstice has past, there will be just the opposite: rapidly increasing light. With the increasing light and the coming of spring there will be newness and rebirth. It is then that I believe the newness of opportunity will multiply.

Until then I plunge forward each day no matter how tiresome or dissatisfactory my situation is. I must continue on this path of hope and the vitality of spring.

Eternity

I whisper a sweet nothing to myself. I am alone in my world. The transformation resulting in my past visions comes to manifest. Its not always easy. Dream of a new life, and you may just get it. Prepare to die from your old life. No, you might bring some of it along with you. But it is good to look everything over during a transitional time. What to keep, what to throw away? Some things are missed, like old friends that I still stay in contact with via long distance telephone calls. You see, the new life is far away. Its only been three months since I've arrived. I've changed everything since the old life. I have a new place to live, quieter, more spacious like I envisioned. I have a new car (truck) which I didn't envision very specifically. If I had been specific, I would have been prepared when the old car died. But the truck is nice. I have other new things that I envisioned too. I have a new job also, which I didn't envision. In some ways it is the perfect job for me. In other ways it is not utilizing my highest spiritual potential. I sought a job out of necessity, as most everyone does, I think. It is Sunday night as I write. I anticipate another work week. I pray for it to be happy and harmonious. I don't want to think about how hard it might be. In general I am prepared to just stay centered and have compassion for everyone I come in contact with. But I have my weaknesses.

I am inspired by my tiredness and suffering. How else can I respond? I've only vegetated all weekend, resting up for what's to come. My heart and soul feels a little dry and arid. Looking out at the sky this afternoon, I shaded my eyes for hours while the sun sunk to the west. As it dipped down below the trees on the horizon the wind picked up. The birds increased their chirping and prepared for bed, as I have witness now for several Sedona sunsets. I lay my sweater across me. I sit up and open my eyes wide as the light vacates to less brilliant hues. I take that moment to reflect upon how I have spent the past several hours, just sitting in a chair, on a deck, part of a remote home somewhere in Arizona. The air is clear and cool. My heart, in those past few hours, sitting and watching, - breathing and simply practicing some Tibetan meditation technique call Tonglin, or getting tired of that I just simply note my in breath or out breath, like a novice Vipassana student - my heart, I reflect upon, is briefly, ever so briefly, touched by eternity. And I realize, like what Thomas Moore would say, that is what I need. I need my soul to be nourished, touched by eternity each day.

Challenges in Holding the Vision

The primary tenet or basic belief that I have been living my life by in the past year or so says that it is important to hold a vision, to have something to work for or to believe in as a goal, a fulfillment of one's desires. This belief develops in the midst of a prior life practice or belief in Buddhist teachings. The belief in holding a vision to manifest your desires is not emphasized in Buddhism. The belief that thought or intention is indeed primary or the cause of one's experience in life is quite Buddhist, however. Perhaps it is just a matter of emphasis as both belief systems, Buddhist philosophy and New Age philosophy draw on natural spiritual truths. While I would interpret the eastern tradition as warning against "sidis" or powers, I see the New Age tradition as encouraging our natural creative powers because of the belief that humans are god incarnate. At this point in time, I must admit, I'm having a little trouble reconciling the two systems of belief.

Part of me really yearns for the simplicity of mindfulness Buddhist practice. Living life on a meditation cushion is a fine state of being. I've done many meditation retreats and regret I haven't done more lately. Past retreat experiences as I recall at IMS or perhaps the time I spent living amongst the cave dwelling swamis in India have always been wonderful, peaceful, ecstatic. There are also difficult and rough times during intense meditation practice, of course. But ultimately I manage through all that and come to a place where I can simply be. It is a state of acceptance of one's mind, one's thoughts, emotions and body sensations, all transcended while sitting on the meditation cushion in a partial lotus posture. I remember getting up once from a meditation sitting at IMS during a long retreat. It was late in the evening, probably tea time and a winter's snowfall was gracing the view of the bucolic New England countryside as I took a moment to gaze out the meditation hall window. The sun was setting giving wonderful color to the sky from the horizon and silhouetted the trees. As I took in this scene my heart became electrified with a continuous series of jolting bliss. My heart was open, the power to receive the beauty in its fullness was present. This is only one example of the openness of heart meditation practice has given me.

Going away for meditation practice is one of the best things I've ever done. I'd much rather do that than, say, take a luxury cruise. If only I had the discipline and insight to hold that view during my daily life outside of the meditation center. Inevitably, I've never gone on a meditation retreat without someone asking the question, "how can we maintain this experience once we return home." It is at this point the answer seems to be blasé, at least to me. Retreatants are always then advised on the importance of maintaining a daily meditation practice as we transition back to home, work or school. Of course, meditating everyday is an important and beneficial activity. Call me an extremist, but I am looking for a better answer. I really want to find or create a world that nourishes me with that openness of heart, safe and secure, loving, blissful way of being. There may be some Buddhist caution here about not being attached to the good feelings, however that doesn't stop me from believing that an ideal existence can be created. Indeed, that is where the next level of my personal spiritual evolution has taken me. That is why I've set my newest spiritual adventure towards the power of intention and vision. I don't really mean to say this is so different from Buddhism. Buddhism teaches that if we focus our mind on love, generosity and wisdom, then love, generosity and wisdom is the reward or karma that the world will reflect back to us. A New Age philosophy, again, may just go a step beyond that in emphasis. That is important for me, since something was not quite working in my life practicing Buddhism alone.

Enter "the law of attraction." This states that what you think about is what you bring into your life. And, as I described in a previous entry called "Living in the Highest Light" it works best when one is in a happy emotional state. Our love, bliss, contentment and passion draws the good things in life towards us. I truly believe this. Fear, worry, struggle create the very things that we worry about. This is the law of attraction. I've been dutifully mindful of this law in my life for some time now. As a result I've been asking for change and transformation. I want things to be different than they have been before. In the past I've settled for whatever the situation has divvied up for me. I've not always been happy with that. As a result I am compelled to try harder, seek more deeply. I am challenged to create my world more to my liking. After some smaller experiments in consciously creating my reality, I've become convinced of the power of these principles. As a result I've taken on a bigger vision. I've made the decision and found the determination to seek a fuller integration of my desires into my reality. This may require some reprogramming that this is bad or selfish, but for me it seems to be my calling and compelling life lesson.

Indeed it is a challenge, but a challenge which is most authentic to my true self. The Buddhist training might temper the mind, especially when the practice of conscious creation tells us how we think and feel will affect how we are manifesting our visions. What happens if I wake up feeling really depressed? What happens now that I've made a big trusting transition from my cozy 17 year home of Northampton, Massachusetts to Sedona, Arizona? How have my visions for beauty, success and a life of ease brought me to this place of magnificent towering redrocks, energy vortexes and New Age thinkers? This transformation has not been without its turbulence. It has been a challenge to bring the mind and emotions back to a place of trust, contentment, peace and creativity. Patience and gentleness is required when there is perceived lack during parts of the transformation. As the old me dies away I can only see that a new me must be reborn. I must console myself to have courage, and right myself as the situation warrants. The opportunities for the new me, the visions I've been affirming are beginning to take root....please stay tuned. In the meantime, perhaps I have reconciled the Buddhist and New Age philosophies. Perhaps the openness and spaciousness of heart, as my Buddhist teachers have guided me to, guides me now even more than I realize. For those teachers, my heart swells with gratitude.

Summer Solstice

My sister Linda sends me an email reminding me of the significance of the summer solstice. My day of long sun was spent quite leisurely in rural western Massachusetts. This solstice is a significant time of change for me as I am moving to Arizona to start a whole new life. It seems the visions and dreams I've been working on in the past year are mostly now coming into being. I've dreamed of a leisurely life, filled with abundance and joy. Right now I feel like I am living life to the fullest. I have such freedom. I stay up late with friends outside in downtown Northampton. I'm responding to the rhythms of nature, feeling and breathing in the beauty of the summer. I'm not subject to the frequency of the clock, the beat of the industrialized world, but rather the beautiful ebbing and flowing rhythms of nature. I know Henry David Thoreau would approve.

With this openness and freedom I find friendship and joy with many people. With a heart at ease and free there is plenty of room for love, compassion, tolerance and acceptance of others. In this way soul abundance grows greatly. As is part of my vision to have abundance in my life, it seems the spirit world, residing close to the soul, answers with abundance of its own nature. I love this abundance of nature, this bounty of time and space I'm experiencing. The soul is full and the heart is content. And in this place of joy the seeds of new dreams are sown, the most fertile of all soil to grow great dreams. The summer night air lifts me to into a nether world, and like with the sounds of crows squawking I transcend this world to the greater dimensions.

Writer's Retreat

I see my world transforming in front of my eyes. I thought that being so involved in my transition, moving out of my apartment, I wouldn't have time to write. But as it so happens I see the necessity and inspiration to create a vision now. You see, I am "dissolving in order to create" right now, as my Mayan inspiration teaches me. Also, as my last blog entry spoke of the importance of feeling happiness or joy to effect successful creation, I now hope to add further clarity of vision for myself. I've decided that I want to be on a writer's retreat. I want to be in a place that will allow me to have peace and quiet and have free time to contemplate, study and write. It would be the manifestation of pure creative energy. Within a period of six months or a year, I will then have produced a book. The Title of my new book is Vision for a New Age©. The book will be a weave of different topics from the mystical and ancient to the political and scientific. Time to live my dream and live up to my highest potential.

I believe I have successfully completed whatever situation I am presently departing. Along with remembering to cultivate inner joy and happiness, this surely means that a true manifestation of my dreams is underway. An old chapter of my life has completed and I'm embarking on a new chapter. In this chapter I explore sustenance from a deeply spiritual truth. I seek a full integration of my inner-most being, my higher self with my being in this physical three dimensional reality. As I begin to describe my vision, I realize that I have been working on it and discussing it for several months. Since last December I have a friend with whom we both shared our visions. We talked, chatted over the internet, sharing the same sort of philosophy about manifesting our desires and being truly happy. I think she's done a really great job. As it seems the time for discussing our visions has passed the past few months, and since the eclipses and equinox it has become a time of manifestation. Karen Bishop writessimilarr thoughts on her website www.whatsuponplanetearth.com. She describes our progression as being in a current lull. "During this current lull, we can bask and rest and perhaps gather more information for our New roles. In June and especially July and August, a New energy surge will arrive that will create the wave that will support the creations and manifestations of these very New roles."

I definitely know what I want my new role to be.

Living in the Highest Light

I've discovered one of the keys to manifesting desires and conscious creation. And as I explained to my friends at dinner last night, that key is none other than "happiness". I know that the Buddha taught that one of the greatest paths to enlightenment was happiness. Not that happiness itself is enlightenment, but if we can somehow train our minds or create the conditions in our world that brings us happiness, then we are poised to open up the way to living our lives more to our liking. Indeed through happiness we can achieve our desires and bring the highest possibilities to us. This 'higher' emotional state draws energy and people towards us, creates notice from others and blesses us with more abundance. I've been one of the worst, to tell the truth, in getting stuck in some distressed mind-state, worried and repulsed by some unwanted experience or condition in my life. The worrying and pushing away only brings the unwanted experience back to us again. But as I have learned, it is imperative that we lift ourselves from the gross or dark emotional state, finding gratitude, hope and happiness in our experience. We have to insist on it every day, even if it means drastically changing our world as we know it. In fact, I am fearlessly and courageously moving forward, being willing to sacrifice great loss or whatever it takes to feel the peace, joy and happiness of life each day.

Dying to the old is part of the process, part of the process of life. For example I started to sell my book collection recently. I have some books I've held onto since college, having graduated with a degree in Philosophy in 1987. I figure having saved these books for this long, and I still haven't read them, I think I can safely get rid of them. So, I've listed a number of books on sale on amazon.com. I've made a little bit of money. But in the mean-time the act of giving up this old part of my life has created something new. The experience has brought new hope of doing more internet sales, as this experience is opening up to new opportunities. There are hidden opportunities everywhere I believe. If only we are willing to move, change and offer up our old selves to the past. If we do this do this with joy, love, happiness and/or gratitude then we are operating in the world at our highest vibration. We become like a creative wizard, manifesting our world.

I was stuck recently feeling really unhappy with a situation that I thought I could never change. Living in an apartment with an upstairs neighbor who mercilessly would pace, pound, walk about at all hours of the day and night, I was in complete misery. My world had become a nightmare that I couldn't see an escape. Since I am a highly sensitive person, this situation really bothered me, . The only affirmation in this emotionally dark time was I now have mastery over my world. I believe this affirmation brought me to Barnes & Noble one evening to develop a new and even more powerful affirmation or mantra. At the new age section, I was immediately drawn to Esther and Jerry Hick's book Ask and It is Given. This book drove the point home to me that the reason we are not creating what we want is because we are not centered in our joy. The book also listed an emotional scale, advising even if we are feeling the lowest of emotions, such as depression, we might benefit by shifting to anger, as being a bit higher on the scale. Only we could know if that was the case. Many techniques are offered in the book for raising our emotional state, or raising our vibrational level. One such technique is having an appreciation bonanza. Basically looking everywhere for anything to appreciate, to be grateful. But for me, leaving B&N that evening seemed to have left me with the mantra to chant Living in the Highest Vibration. This I sang in the car on the way home. This I sang again the next time the upstairs neighbor began pacing above me again. Miraculously, she left the apartment the next day and didn't return for several nights. Since then she has been away a lot more often and I've been able to sleep much better at night.. There has truly been a shift in conditions as well as a shift in my thoughts and feelings.

I truly believe we must give attention and focus to our emotional and spiritual selves each day and each moment to succeed in this creative source centered mastery. We must work to raise our vibration in relationship to every experience. This is an excellent point for those working to shift from the old matrix world that we have been living in to open up to a life sustained by the new energies of the emerging new world. As we evolve to what is referred to as the Hopi's fifth world, a new dimension of spiritual reality sets in. For some of us we drop from our old methods of support, the matrix, which has never worked well for us anyway, to the support of creative source-centered mastery. In this way we come to fuller integration of our being which has been kept from us for much too long. I no longer place limits on my happiness. I affirm I am living in the highest vibration, the highest light.

Cutting Edge New Age

I can't help to notice where my spiritual path has taken me in that past few years. Spirituality has always been a big part of who I am. I am a thinker, a kind of philosopher and what has excited me most recently is what would be called 'new age'. New age is an ironic term because it actually invokes ancient wisdom and ancient history, bringing ancient knowledge to the forefront of modern thinking and practice. In this light we honor the Native American tradition, traditions of the east such as Buddhism and Hinduism, and what can be referred to as the Hermetic tradition encomposing ancient Egyptian beliefs, Druids and Celtic tradition. The new age seems to be all about discovering what has been lost to modern humanity. Indeed it is a perspective that beckons to awaken our current society and world from its materialism and ignorance of a greater reality. New Age spirituality is not a science, though much of what is being discovered by modern science (especially physics i.e. What the Bleep Do We Know) is used to support new age thought, such as in the example of quantum mysticism. New agers tend to want to discover for themselves the mysteries and powers of life within. From this perspective it can unfortunately be a narcissistic spirituality, as the forms of service and humility in traditional religions is a bit thwarted, although not entirely, by the self-empowered New Ager. In addition the hidden worlds of our government and speculations about aliens weave there way into this body of thought. And at the crux of the new age phenomenon right at this moment is a newly interpreted 'end times' as the date 2012 has cropped up time and time again. It is not an end of the world, but the beginning of a whole new world. A real sense of permeating change as happening right now, more so than ever before, is well defined and discussed throughout the new age community.

Indeed, I attended a conference called Earth Changes in Sedona, AZ, the Sunday after the spring equinox. Jose Aguelles was the main speaker and, of course, spoke about 2012, which is a code he said. He repeated that several times. In fact, almost every time he gently reminded us of 2012 he would say, "[it] is a code". We are past the point of no return he says. "Are we practicing our telepathy?" he asked as another curious invitation to speculate on what the future earth changes hold. From the galactic perspective, we are just nanoseconds away from the shift of one epoch to the next. No forecasts of great destructions were stated, except a suggestion that the internet won't be around that long. Perhaps this will be due to the increased sunspot activities scientists are predicting. And when do scientist predict the peak sunspots? The historically validated computer models are predicting 2012 for peak sunspot activity or coronal mass ejections. This will disrupt communications and electrical systems as have happened in the past. But from the new age perspective this is not a time of disaster, but an opportunity to awaken to expanded consciousness and a new dimension.

Numerology has 2012 adding up to be a "five”: 2 + 0 + 1 + 2 = 5. Five is a number some say corresponds to love. (The year 2003 was also a year of love. I know it was for me personally as I felt a lot of love that year and a lot of happiness.) The next year 2004 also brought us an astronomical event that I was for some reason very aware of: the Venus transit of the sun. It was a rare event sometimes occurring over intervals of hundreds of years. New age chatter hailed it as an opportunity to bring goddess energy to the earth. I was keenly aware of it. I anticipated the event and knew the exact time of its happening that June morning. I looked for it, but it could not be seen except with special equipment. The very day or next day of the Venus transit did mark a change for me. As a journal writer for years I had always used my journals as a type of therapy to complain about my life and just report on things as there were. But the Venus transit brought a change in that for the first time I took my writing to the visionary level. I decided that I no longer had to just write what was, I could begin to write about what I wanted to be. And to my surprise the visionary writings uplifted my days as I wrote and envisioned more happiness in my life and a better job. The happier days were immediate and the better job came in three months! Related this to the Venus transit I wondered when the next rare Venus transit would occur. I looked it up and what do you know, the next one is due in 2012 a "five" year of love.

I also want to give mention to Terrence McKenna, a leading thinker who devised a mathematical schema for demonstrating cycles in history using concepts of novelty, repetition and the I Ching. This model, as I understand it, shows history as repeating itself, or perhaps as a spiraling phenomenon. McKenna was aware of the work of Jose Arguelles. But the interesting thing is that McKenna sought a number of dates for the end date of his model. No date fit the graphical up and down cycles of history until he tried the date 2012. I honor McKenna, his intellect and boldness of experimenting with altered states of consciousness. He was a pioneer thinker. Although some of his ideas are radical they are convincing enough to receive mention. Also, Zacharia Sitchin is a pioneer thinker. As the previous post mentions his radical ideas of intelligent design from an ancient extraterrestrial race, I know this goes way to far for some people. But the evidence and scholarly work is compelling enough to also deserve a mention. It should not be dismissed just because it is too "far out" to believe. Before reading Sitchin's work I never thought I would consider the possibility of intelligent design. Now I do.

Awakening to our ancient past in Sumer is new age. As well as finding our connection through a greater dimension is new age. Finding an explanation for the rapidly accelerating world that we live in all comes together in a new age philosophy. So too, hope of awakening, transcendence and ascendance right here, right now to the next dimension is the new age.

Ancient Sumer, modern Sedona

When I look up to the red rock mountains and see the colors, I am pleased to see the multiple layers in the rocks getting a distinct feeling that the rocks hold a history book of our past earth. The layers are perhaps hundreds of millions of years old. Somehow the details of the ages are recorded there. Not even being conscious of the meaning of the communication, there seems to be an awaking of knowledge within, perhaps on the cellular level.

Accompaning my current trip to Sedona is the book The 12th Planet by Z. Sitchin, telling me stories about our ancient past and the civilization of Sumer. Sumer lived in what is currently Iraq. In the ancient world, around six thousand years ago, Sumer was the cradle of human civilization between what were then the rich and fertile lands between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. Archeologists in the past century and a half have been uncovering many artifacts from this time. One of the most interesting discovery are tens of thousands of clay tablets, thousands of years old written in cuneiform. The cuneiform language is traced back from before the ancient Hebrew to a languages called Akkadian. Akkadian, as well as many of the stories from the Old Testament, is now known to come from the Sumerians. Stories such as Adam & Eve, the flood and Noah's Ark, and the tower of Babel, are all told from an ancient and detailed perspective, giving much life and meaning to these stories. Perhaps this perspective is so revealing that it is hard for our culture to be open to these stories. Like the 70's book and television documentary Chariots of the Gods, these ancient clay tablets tell us of ancient astronauts coming to earth, 445,000 years ago. The story is one of intelligent design and creation of the human species and our civilization. There is so much to write here, so many stories. My main source I mentioned, Z. Sitchin, is also author of The Lost Book of Enki. Here we have a story of the gods and goddesses of ancient Sumer, and their history on the earth. Enki and Enlil were brothers, both sons of King Anu from planet Nibiru. They also have a half sister named Inanna, who was a nurse/doctor to their mission on earth. Initially this mission was to mine for gold in order to save the atmosphere of planet Nibiru. Later it seems their mission is to seed the human species on planet earth and help build their civilization. These are our ancient gods and goddesses, whom we have mostly forgotten.

Seems that the modern Judeo-Christian theology has sterilized itself of these ancient gods and goddesses. But the intriguing thing is that many of the classic Old Testament stories are retold with astounding perspective in the Sumerian sources. For example, the first man was Adamu, a result of bioengineering and artificial insemination in a clay vessel. The clay vessel was an important part of the story because Inanna did the first failed attempts in a crystal vessel. It was Enki, who worked with her on the project and suggested that a clay vessel might work better. And it did. This event was many years before the flood that was around 12,000 years ago. Our storytellers call this pre-diluvium period of time the ‘olden times’.

These ancient cuneiform histories place the flood at 12,000 years ago and the building of the pyramids in Egypt just after. This was the age of the Lion, which is why a Sphinx was built facing the rising sun on the spring equinox. Another catastrophic event was said to have occurred around 3,700 B.C.E. A rebellious Marduk, son of Enki and known in Egypt as Ra wanted ruler ship of the earth. He wasn't satisfied with the way the Nibiruian rules of succession deprived him of ruler ship. A war waged over the earth. Despite Enlil and Enki's efforts to stop him using nuclear weapons, Marduk won and was saved in the city of Babylon. Prior to this time Sumer was the cultural center of the world. They were engaged in commerce, art, shipping, religion, mercantilism, and all that characterizes a modern civilization. Their stories and mythology takes us back to our deep roots as humans. It awakens us to a world that has remained hidden for so long.

So I wonder about the many layers of earth history, sitting here in Sedona looking at the multi-layered red rocks. Many worlds have been before it would seem. The mystery draws me in.

Eclipses

Things have been taking on a new intensity for me since the last full-moon. I've been a kind of moon watcher most of my life. I'm usually always aware of the cycles of the moon, particularly when it is going to be a full moon. It can be a time of emotional intensity for me, either pleasant or stressful. The effects of the full moon is well established in human lore. After all, the word "lunacy" refers to some craziness around the time of the full moon, no doubt. Also, the werewolf is fabled to come out on a full moon. Ask any maternity ward nurse and she will tell you that more births will happen around the full moon. Indeed we can see the effects of the moon cycles evident in the ebb and flow of the ocean's tides. So, if this is the case, then what does it mean for when a lunar or solar eclipse happens? Actually, both lunar and solar eclipse always happen in pairs at two-week intervals. These are not necessarily total eclipses, or seen from the same place on earth, but the events always happen 14 days apart from each other. For me, a lunar eclipse energetically means the same thing as a full moon, only more so. A lunar eclipse is when the earth blocks the light of the sun from shining on what would normally be a luminous full moon.

This event is on its way presently. We are due for a lunar eclipse on the 15th of March. Then on March 29 we are scheduled for a total eclipse of the sun, Visible in Brazil, Ghana, Nigeria, Niger, Libya, the northwest tip of Egypt, Turkey, northwest Georgia, southwest Russia, Kazakstan, the southern tip of Russia, and ends in the northern tip of Mongolia. The lunar eclipse on March 15th will be visible in some parts of the United States in the morning. If you really want more technical information about the eclipses, I recommend Nasa's Eclipse Page. If you would like to think about the eclipses in terms of what they might mean for you emotionally, evolutionally, or astrologically I would recommend what Susan Miller says about what eclipse mean for us in general on her website astrologyzone.com. This article compels one to consider it a time of possible spiritual quickening. It may present us with a challenge to change our life suddenly in ways we may not have thought possible, in a short time frame. Eclipses can bring about disturbing changes or perhaps it could be described at a time of metamorphosis. That is more like what I think I am going through right now, a metamorphosis.

If you think about metamorphosis, Merriam-Webster gives the following definitions: 1 a : change of physical form, structure, or substance especially by supernatural means b : a striking alteration in appearance, character, or circumstances 2 :a marked and more or less abrupt developmental change in the form or structure of an animal (as a butterfly or a frog) occurring subsequent to birth or hatching. A change of form by supernatural means? I think that's what's happening to me. And I think it has to do with those dreams and visions I've been working to manifest. I'm thinking a lot of changes are happening for me now. My work is changing. My home has been source of possible change as well. And, I have intense feelings at this time period which seem to be driving the changes. My heart often feels open and raw. It is painful at times, but hopeful at other times. It feels better as I put my energy into the things I want to see happen, the positive changes in my life. The power of the practice of conscious creation is greater now, as the eclipses bring events more quickly into play.

One last thought about metamorphosis. Just imagine what a struggle it is for the catepillar to cocoon himself and transform into a butterfly. Imagine the joy spring gives for the newly emerged butterfly.

• March 15. Penumbral eclipse of the Moon.
• March 29. Total eclipse of the Sun. Visible in Brazil, Ghana, Togo, Benin, Nigeria, Niger, northwest Chad, Libya, the northwest tip of Egypt, Turkey, northwest Georgia, southwest Russia, Kazakstan, the southern tip of Russia, and ends in the northern tip of Mongolia.

• Sept. 7. Partial eclipse of the Moon. Visible from parts of Antarctica, Australia, Asia, Africa, and Europe including the British Isles.
• Sept. 22. Annular eclipse of the Sun. Visible in Guyana, Suriname, French Guiana, the South Atlantic Ocean, and ends southwest of the Kerguelen Islands

Writing Group

On Monday night I accidentally found myself sitting at a writing group at Barnes & Noble. Really I was sitting in one of their big comfy chairs and found a writing group form around me. The topic suggested to write about was “liberation.” Here’s what I wrote:

Liberation, hah! I’m jumping out of my skin. What a topic. I mean that’s what it is all about, finding liberation, finding freedom. And it is within our freedom we can take our time to open and gently allow a seeping in of what we can only find to be truth in liberation. From this I mean that true liberation comes from within. Most people are bound mentally and spiritually. Most people have been caught in a tangled web of society that has for generations built unquestioned norms of behavior and economic structure. Here’s a question: Why is it that our society, and the whole of human existence on earth doesn’t exist in a beautiful creation, a beautiful abundant world of harmony and care? Instead most people are kept too busy with “today’s active lifestyles” to even stop to ask that question. Isn’t it time we stopped to ask? And if we stopped, how long would it take to listen, feel and discover the true freedom within? What would it feel like? What would it look like?

To this end true liberation restores the individual to his or her true self, like Rousseau’s hermit needing to be removed form the fetters of society to be truly himself. This journey of self discovery is not an easy one, it involves questioning the core beliefs that have made us feel safe, like the way we just play along and find ourselves fitting into society like A Brave New World. But let us shake all of that off now. Lets open to a new vision. It might be disorienting at first, but what might you find once the clouds begin to clear, the sky becomes much more blue, the sun brighter, and there is a gift of freedom and liberation? There, one is awake to a new reality and knowledge that one is free. And within this freedom comes the responsibility to create. Yes, what else would you do given the discovery of this ultimate kind of liberation and freedom? Your world is yours, now what are you going to do with it? Now that is a new vista, a vista of complete freedom, abundance, with its accompanying lessons in creativity. You know it is right. It feels right. The body beams with energy from the solar plexus. The conscious mind touches the infinite. We are healed in our sense of full integration of ourselves.

Well okay, it all sounds like it may be a bit fantastic, but yet a courageous journey of self-discovery. Perhaps this is what is needed, to heal our woes of society, to turn our corporate, military world into some dream of peace, a beautiful earth garden to enjoy and live in harmony. Perhaps we need to listen to a tick of a different clock, different from the one our society has been listening to since the industrial revolution. A new rhythm of life may be available. Perhaps this rhythm hears the sounds of nature, the solstices and moon cycles. Maybe there is a rhythm that takes us away from our self-centered material 3-dimensional reality. Maybe a new pulse is being heard by many people to be more connected, to be more self-determined, to be close to our creativity (maybe even be close to our creator?). Here I suggest a vision to use to create: May more people awaken to their creativity. Perhaps it is time to heal our earth with a shift or lifting of global consciousness. Yeah, I mean like all of these people awakening all over the globe, like blossoms on a tree in the springtime. More people taking a moment to be still, to reset the frequency they are listening to beyond the current frequency of our 3-dimensional materialism with its accompanying earth bound focus. Instead may we listen with our hearts beyond our planet, which is at this time stranded and out of sync. Maybe a whisper from William James about the separation being a thin veil, and we can re-align the earth to a greater cosmic pulse. As we do less, feel more connected with inner source, we may also find ourselves expanding our consciousness to the galaxy – a great spatial ocean of energy.

The Solstice Project

I wanted to add more comments from my last entry. I kind of abruptly left off talking about The Solstice Project. And since that time I've reviewed the related documentary Mysteries of Chaco Canyon that has been shown on PBS stations. A scientist discovered the significance of the ancient Pueblo ruins one day when observing some slabs of rock specifically placed to mark the high point of the sun each day, noontime. The large rock slabs were placed to allow the formation of a 'sun dagger' shining on a spiral design etched into a rock wall behind the vertical slabs. The documentary calls the spiral design mysterious and notes that on the summer solstice the dagger pierces the center of the spiral. What is revealed about these ancient ruins goes far beyond this one phenomena, however. What is discovered is an entire system of archeological sites in the region that are remarkably built around observations of the movements of the sun and moon, and perhaps more. It appears to be a site of ritual and pilgrimage for the people of that time unifying the earth with the heavens. Some of the contemporary native people interviewed comment that these ruins were built by powerful people with a lot of spiritual power. These people may have been so in tune with natural forces that they were able to control these forces. This power, of course, could also be abused by people and a decision may have been made to not continue this accumulation of knowledge of control of natural forces. As the documentary suggests, this decision may have been a conscious one to shut down the activities of Chaco Canyon, as the structures and buildings appear to have been thoughtfully sealed up and abandoned over a long period of time.

The investigation into Chaco Canyon brings many questions to mind. What is this spiritual knowledge and how is it related to the natural movements of celestrial bodies? If people have had this knowledge in the past, are there any people with this knowledge today, and are they using it? How is this related to our own time system or calendar? Is this the reason behind the stilted or irregular Gregorian calendar as mentioned in an earlier post?

Perhaps the time has come that the abuse of power in our modern industrialized world is as such, that we need to re-awaken this power of natural order to once again bring balance and peace to our world.

Mayan Flavor

It seems now that my postings are taking on a distinctive Mayan flavor. It has always been the case that the blog was inspired with Mayan origins, as the name Blue Spectral Eagle represents my Mayan galactic signature. Everyone has a galactic signature based on the Mayan calendar and your date of birth. If you would like to know yours you can go to the Mayan calendar decoder site and enter your birth date to find out. My galactic signature helped to confirm what I already knew about myself, that I am a visionary concerned with global consciousness. I was sort-of stunned when I read my galactic signature for the first time. It was so true.

Most of my Mayan perspective comes from Jose Arguelles, author of The Mayan Factor and credited for bring the term 'harmonic convergence' to the world in 1987 when his book was published. Arguelles sees himself as the re-incarnation of a Mayan king, Pactal Votan, c. 800 C.E. Indeed it seems it is Argelles' life work to keep the message of Pactal Votan alive today at this very crucial time in earth's history. The message and work of the Mayan people is galactic in nature. And if we look closely at the Mayan ruins, pyramids (and the pyramids of ancient Egypt) we can decode the important messages that these truly monumental structures are telling us. These structures are monumental in time and space seeking to awaken the earth inhabitants in this time of shifting consciousness or evolutionary awareness. This message can be translated and decoded. An important part of this is the mayan calendar which in itself sets time from a galactic perspective. What is even more incredible about this is that it sets our moment in time, basically now, on a precipice of an end, and consequently a beginning of a 26,000 year cycle. The anticipated date of this event is winter solstice, 2012. But I don't believe the exact date is so important, but acts as a general signpost, a buoy in the sea of the evolving creative cosmic dream. This is not an arbitrary point on the calendar, but represents a time in which the solar system is returning to planar alignment with the galaxy.

Another aspect of Arguelles' work focuses heavily on the 13-moon calendar, as the ancient Mayans used. He believes it is absolutely crucial for people to stop using the current crooked-in-time Gregorian calendar and that we begin to use the more balanced 13-moon calendar of 28 days per month. He advocates the harmonious rhythms of exactly four weeks per month. Each month always starts on a Sunday and each month always has a Friday the 13th. With 28 days per month and 13 months this equals 364 days, one less than a year. The extra day is made up with a "day out of time" observed during the summer, what is now our Gregorian month of July. The Gregorian calendar is attacked for its stiltedness of variation of monthly lengths between 28 and 31 days. Also for such absurdities as calling the 10th month of the year "October" which actually means 8th month. You will notice other months are misnamed as well. It is argued that this confusion is quite deliberate, to keep the populace veiled from the true cosmic harmonies. How we conceptualize time profoundly affects how we live, the rhythms of life and our connection to the greater cosmos. To return to a society living in awareness of the true cosmic rhythms would have profound implications on people's way of life, inner strength and happiness. Is it hard to imagine what a society adjusted to cosmic frequencies would be like? I would like to call your attention to a group of researchers in NW New Mexico studying native ruins there. This effort is known as The Solstice Project.

Lessons Learned

Seems there have been a couple of significant turning points in recent months when I 've made a realization about how to be in the world or what direction I am to go. I'll start with the first lesson of last December. It was a dark time for me, perhaps I am "seasonal affective" but then again I'm not calling it a disorder. In fact, it is in perfect order to be affected by the seasons. After all everything in nature is affected by the seasons and so should we. I don't believe we always have to be depressed during the time of the winter solstice, but I was very much so last solstice. I was experiencing a fatalistic view of having to work some job that I didn't really want. I was feeling squeezed by money, or perceived lack of income. It felt hard, harsh and I had the feeling that I didn't want to live life anymore except if it weren't for a few pleasant distractions during the holiday season. So the week shortly after the New Year I fell into deep despair. I lay on my couch for a night and then a morning in a dreadful state of hopelessness worrying about being unemployed. Later that morning the phone rang inviting me to an interview for a teaching job. That shifted my mood and I began to think that there was some hope. But the interesting thing about the whole event of falling into despair was that I knew that I was choosing despair the whole time. I could at any time shift my mood, if only I believed that I should. I learned the bout of despair was unnecessary and I resolved that even if I was on the Titanic and it was sinking, I would put on my tuxedo and go dance with the orchestra. I knew that I would not allow myself to fall into despair again.

The second lesson has to do with clarity of purpose. Since I've been to two interviews to be a math teacher this month, I still haven't been hired. And this past week I came down with one of the most painful colds I can recall having in recent years. After four days my head was just pounding. I thought for sure I must have a fever, but I was surprised to find I was in the normal range when taking my temperature. Finally I took some pain medication that worked and I was able to sleep quite a bit. I felt much better the next day. In the process I also decided that I no longer wanted to be a teacher. At least not now. In fact I have a different vision. With that decision I've now set the stage to allow the higher vision to take place. I'm allowing the life I want to be created. A big part of the vision for me has been wanting to manifest wealth and abundance in my life. I believe I am indeed starting to do that. I am as well seeking happiness, love and grace in my life each day. As a result doorways are opening up to allow me to have the sort of life that I dream. Part of this lesson is learning to heal the fears. Particularly the fears that lead one to suffer lack of abundance.

It is as waking to a new reality, shifting to a deeper level of heart consciousness. We can be happy. We should endeavor to create happiness in our lives and in our world every day. We begin to do that by holding our vision for happiness each day, using our inner vision to paint the pictures we want to see in our lives. As I have been reflecting on this principle, I was particularly attuned to this quote while re-reading Yogananda's Autobiography of a Yogi:

"Awake in God, true saints effect changes in this dream-world
by means of a will harmoniously attuned to the Creative Cosmic Dreamer."

Resuscitation

I'm seeing my life in current circumstances as a resuscitation. I have to re-awaken, to get to know what it is that I am really about. I have to live in the world in such a way as to be happy. It seems impossible at times. So, at the core of this is the belief that it is possible to live life in such a way as to be happy. In fact, I go as far to believe that this is like the primary lesson in life to learn. So many people are unhappy, living each day in drudgery. Life to many is like a prison. We are stuck to bear the burdens that are set before us. But here is a radical thought. Perhaps we are more able to create our world as we like than we realize. That with our thoughts, focus and passion we change, mold and shape our reality. Opportunities and possibilities lie awaiting all around us all the time. When we decide on a direction and purpose, pursue it with passion, then the infinite creative forces of the universe become our co-conspirators in a good way.

To live this way is to awaken to a stream of consciousness within us, that we likely have left ignored or not believed in before. We have to resuscitate ourselves to breathing the streams of light of creation. I know this may seem far out, but the words are only pointing to a particular reality which could be described in many different ways. But in this case I am referring to it as expressed by Master Kirael and described on the website Elven Awakening . In this case my life is an experiment that I must make. I must pursue the dream that I can be happy. I must believe that I can live life with a spiritual reality here on earth, in harmony and peace. I must believe that I can create beauty and harmony as a way of life everyday in my existence.

Sometimes I think it is because I feel too much. I don't seek a rat race as a way of life. I seek to touch my soul to the divine each day, feeling connected to source and energy. I seek quiet and solitude. I seek to be a vision of sanity in what otherwise appears to be an insane world.

Giving me a break

Well it seems that the blog really hasn't taken off as well as I had thought. Its not that people aren't coming to visit the site, which hasn't happened, but that I haven't been writing in it as much as I would like to. Why? I'm beginning to think the idea is too rigid, that I have some concept that I have to convince myself that is real, which I believe it is, and convince everyone else. But if I do this to the exclusion of being real myself, that is, presenting myself authentically then nothing at all of worth is accomplished. So today I'm starting from a new perspective. I have to do something. In some ways I am desperate. My life maybe falling apart at the seams from appearances. With this I mean financially, career-wise. The fact is I have no job and haven't had one since October. My savings is all used up and I'll have to start tapping into my IRA (a small retirement fund which won't last long either) to pay rent next month, unless something else happens. So, I've had a break from the awful world of work. I don't understand how people do it each day. It seems that most people get up and go to a job that they hate every day with stoic resolve. They do it because they have to, they have to pay the bills. I have the audacity to think that life doesn't have to be that way. That somehow I can be happy. I know that there are jobs that people enjoy and perhaps I've enjoyed at least one or two jobs I can think of to a certain extent. So this is my focus: job, money, success. I can't write a blog about anything else, because this is what my life is focused on right now. This is what I am using the power of vision to create for myself. It is necessary. It is what the world is demanding of me.

I need a break. I've been lucky to take a break from the tedium of the world. Now I need a financial break. I want the financial abundance to continue living life happily. All power of visualization is being directed to that purpose. I remain in gratitude for all things that I do have, and all things to come.