Uninspired

I haven't written in a long time, and I don't write much longer at all. I really wish that I could. I really wish I was in a place of inspiration and creativity. But maybe I am just experiencing some of the solstice energy, perhaps in a new way. For the first time I am experiencing winter in Arizona. The weather is nice. I enjoy the sunshine everyday. Even though I am working a job five days a week, I still manage to find time to sit in the sun each day, even if just for a few minutes. But the reality is that my job occupies much of my time, mental and emotional space. There is some dissatisfaction, though I'm compelled to continue in a kind of trade-off. I'm trading off my time, and my personal freedom for the necessity of an income to pay for basic needs. It's a real conumdrum.

So there is where it lies at the moment. Creativity and freedom have to take a back seat. But I continue to dream. I dream that better opportunities befall me. I have to believe opportunity will appear. It will happen with ease, like a kind of gift. I'm not sure what these opportunitise will be, or what they will look like, but I have to believe that they will come true. During this time of the solstice energy, the winter darkness, there is a kind of purging. Before the solstice the winter energy intensifies as there is rapidly increasing darkness each day. Once the solstice has past, there will be just the opposite: rapidly increasing light. With the increasing light and the coming of spring there will be newness and rebirth. It is then that I believe the newness of opportunity will multiply.

Until then I plunge forward each day no matter how tiresome or dissatisfactory my situation is. I must continue on this path of hope and the vitality of spring.